The Gift Of Noticing

Encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

“Oh, thanks! I got the shirt on the clearance rack. And the pants are a really old pair . . .” She rambled on, subconsciously rejecting my genuine, freely given compliment about an outfit that fit both her body shape and her personality in a particularly lovely way.

Why do we women tend to deflect the lovely things others say about us? It’s a question I’ve rhetorically asked the Holy Spirit hundreds of times over the years. I’ve witnessed compliments about naturally thick curly hair, a knack for organization, or a job well done as an event emcee be politely refused as the recipient immediately points out that someone else has prettier hair or a better organized fridge, or confesses that she flubbed a certain part of the event announcements.

In fact, I’ve noticed that women are far more likely to engage in lengthy conversations focused on their flaws, criticizing their God-given bodies and their abilities—often in front of daughters, nieces, and other young women who quietly soak it all up and then emulate the same behaviors.

Rather than deflect compliments, what if we simply said thank you, genuinely accepting and appreciating lovely words spoken over us as the gift they were intended to be? And what if we became compliment gift-givers ourselves, building up those around us through the simple act of looking for loveliness in all its forms and letting another woman know that we see something beautiful in or about her?

The simple act of noticing another’s loveliness is often remembered by the recipient decades later because it is so rare and unexpected a gift. I don’t know about you, but I have an inner critical voice that loves to tell me all the ways I’ve fallen short, constantly. And I may—at times—have others in my life who speak harsh words over me. Being noticed for something positive—especially by the woman standing in line behind me at the grocery store or by a woman further up the chain of command in the same organization—is a blessing and an encouragement.

Julie

Today’s Act of Gratitude

Reflect on a time someone spoke words of lovely, affirming life over you. Pay it forward by giving the gift of noticing to a stranger.