Going Back To Move Forward - The One Year Devotions for Women on the Go

He is so rich in kindness that he purchased our freedom through the blood of his Son, and our sins are forgiven. Ephesians 1:7

As I look back on my life, I can see where the roots of perfectionism were planted. Once when I brought home my seventh-grade report card, it included six 100 percent grades and one 99.9 percent. My dad had been drinking, so “Jack Daniels” said through my dad, “Pam, why isn’t that a 100 percent?” I remember wondering if I would ever be good enough to earn his love.

When I was eight, almost nine, the pastor of our small church asked if anyone in my Sunday school class wanted to learn more about Jesus. In the class we learned much about who Jesus was, and we also had an opportunity to gain a place on a quiz team. Now, because I always wanted to achieve, I wanted a place on that team! I could just see myself, like a contestant on Hollywood Squares, up on that podium, answering those questions. But to gain a spot on the team, I had to memorize Matthew 5, 6, and 7.

While reading Matthew, I came across the verse “Everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And the door is opened to everyone who knocks” (Matthew 7:8).

I thought, Does this mean that if I ask you to come into my life, Jesus, that you’ll do it? And there, sitting on my bed, I bowed my head and prayed, asking Jesus to come into my life to be my Savior, Lord, and best friend. I believe he met me there that day.

I felt free and loved unconditionally for the first time in my life. The next day was Sunday, and as was tradition, my pastor gave anyone who wanted an opportunity to come forward for prayer. I was crying. I remember my pastor asking me, “What’s wrong, Pam?” I answered him, “I am so happy!”

That was the first day I remember crying tears of joy. Up until meeting Christ, my tears had been caused by feelings of failure; now, they were feelings of freedom.