Be Quiet

Be Quiet

I said to myself, “I will watch what I do and not sin in what I say. I will hold my tongue.”

Psalm 39:1

I felt like I was going to burst, as though I could no longer hold in the retort that was trying so hard to push its way past pursed lips and clenched teeth. For the past five minutes, I’d been subjected to a political tirade delivered by an elderly relative. Those blankety-blank politicians were a bunch of crooks. All they cared about was lining their pockets. Not only was their position on any given issue dead wrong, but it was evil and would lead the country to ruin. The words were spoken with such contempt that it was painful to listen. But I couldn’t just walk away. After all, we were in the car heading down the expressway.

The person who was spouting off has a habit of mistaking forcefulness with persuasion. But his extreme statements usually have the reverse effect, making me want to argue on behalf of politicians with whom I disagree. This time I decided not to take the bait. Instead of arguing or trying to point out the extreme nature of what he was saying, I decided to hold my tongue and change the subject.

It worked! As we spoke of other things, the tension in the car began to dissipate, and I congratulated myself for not making a harsh reply to harsh comments.

Later I marveled at how hard it had been for me to keep quiet. I enjoy saying exactly what I think. But doing so isn’t always helpful. Clearly, I need to develop my self-control muscles so that keeping silent when it is wisest to do so doesn’t seem like such a superhuman task. According to the Bible, this kind of self-control can pay dividends. Here’s how Proverbs puts it: “Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent” (Pr 17:28).

What about you? If you make a habit of getting dragged into senseless arguments, particularly with family members, join me in taking the first step toward self-control—decide to be quiet the next time you are tempted to be drawn into a verbal tug-of-war.

Father, give me the grace to know when to speak up and when to stay silent. Help me to look for opportunities to grow in self-control.