Choose To Let Go - The One Year Women's Friendship Devotional

Choose to Let Go

Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:17

Too many people blame parents or childhood events for the way their lives have turned out. Sure, our childhood sets the precedent for who we are as adults, but our fates aren’t set in stone. At some point in the journey, we can decide the unhealthy familial patterns will stop with us. Whether we get the needed encouragement to rebuild our lives through counseling or personal spiritual awareness, we do not have to cling to past trauma or pass it on to our children.

A few years ago, Karen called her parents to thank them for early Christmas gifts. After the usual chitchat, her dad said, “I wish you could be home for Christmas.”

Scenes of earlier holidays darted through Karen’s mind: her father’s grumpiness if he was awakened too early, her having to beg him to open the pitiful little gifts she gave, his complaints about relatives who stopped in. . . . Karen had long ago given up hope of having a tension-free holiday with her family of origin, so she concentrated on her own children and tried to create peaceful memories they would carry into adulthood.

Thus, instead of arguing with her father over the phone that morning, she gently replied, “I know.” Then as she watched her children playing quietly near the Christmas tree, she thought, I am home.

Much of Karen’s inner peace came from having accepted, years earlier, the fact that although her dad had not been what she had needed as a child, he had done the best he knew how. She found emotional freedom by giving up her desire to open her father’s eyes to the hurtful things he had done. Then, determined not to pass the family pain along to her own children, she concentrated on each day’s joy instead of yesterday’s pain. —SANDRA

Lord, it is so easy to blame a toxic childhood for all of my challenges today. Help me to let go of those sad memories so I can embrace the good future you have waiting. And help me to offer quiet forgiveness to those who couldn’t offer what I needed.

The greatest benefits God has conferred on human life, fatherhood, motherhood, childhood, home, become the greatest curse if Jesus Christ is not the head.

—OSWALD CHAMBERS (1874–1917), SCOTTISH BIBLE TEACHER, YMCA CHAPLAIN IN EGYPT