Letting Go Of Bad Memories - The One Year Women's Friendship Devotional

Letting Go of Bad Memories

In my distress I prayed to the LORD, and the LORD answered me and set me free. Psalm 118:5

Those still bound by sad memories of a toxic childhood can’t give themselves encouragement and often can’t accept it from others. Dwelling on past injustices, believing negative things people said, or rejecting the idea they deserve anything good, in fact, creates a barrier to good things. For example, self-talk such as Well, of course I failed—why did I even try! doesn’t help with the challenge at hand; it only focuses attention on the problem instead of on a possible solution.

Think of the difference even this simple change could make: Well, that didn’t work. What are other possibilities?

Letting go of the past means just that: letting go. After all, that’s what forgiveness means. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve reminded an angry woman that holding a grudge hurts only her, not the other person. I’ve even said, “He’s not losing sleep over this; you are. You have to let this go.” I’ve never insisted either for myself or for others on an immediate and flippant “Hey, it’s okay you were rotten to me. No problem. Really.” I stress forgiveness is a process we must work through. And it doesn’t mean being best friends with that other person. It just means not dwelling on his or her miserable past actions.

One of my Denver friends, Dr. Linda Williams, offers great forgiveness advice: “Forgiveness is the willingness to live with the consequences of another’s sin.” I like that. Many times we can do nothing but choose to live with the memories of another’s wrong actions and get on with life. Our emotional freedom comes as we make the decision to stop giving that past situation power over the present.

—SANDRA

Lord, I confess I don’t want to forgive those who have hurt me. That sounds too much like letting them off the hook. But the truth is, they aren’t the ones suffering—I am. I want freedom. Help me to let go of the past and accept your bright future.

As we practice the work of forgiveness we discover more and more that forgiveness and healing are one. —AGNES SANFORD (1897–1982), WRITER