Group Dynamics

CORE PRACTICE #14: Look for opportunities to study the Bible with your spouse and/or in a small group.

One day as he saw the crowds gathering, Jesus went up on the mountainside and sat down. His disciples gathered around him, and he began to teach them. . . . When Jesus had finished saying these things, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, for he taught with real authority—quite unlike their teachers of religious law. —Matthew 5:1-2; 7:28-29

TONY

About five years ago, John and Celeste Salgado, friends of ours from church, began talking about starting a couple’s Bible study. Lauren and I decided to give the small group a try.

I can’t think of a better example of Christ followers learning Kingdom principles in a small-group setting than in the way that Jesus taught His own “small group” of disciples. Christ chose to pour all the knowledge and wisdom of His Father and His plans for His Kingdom into these twelve men.

After mentoring them, the apostle Luke says Jesus “sent them out to tell everyone about the Kingdom of God and to heal the sick” (Luke 9:2). Yet He also ensured that the group had time for rest: “When the apostles returned, they told Jesus everything they had done. Then he slipped quietly away with them toward the town of Bethsaida” (v. 10). As the Master Teacher painstakingly taught, directed, encouraged, and sent out His disciples—right there in that small-group setting—He was laying the foundation for a movement that would change the world.

As for the Salgados and our small group, we decided to meet on Thursday evenings and adopted a DVD series of Bible studies for our initial lesson plans. All the couples took turns preparing food and serving the meal to our small group. Others took the responsibility of arranging for an on-site babysitter to care for our younger children. Whenever other needs become apparent, group members stepped forward to help out.

The people in our small group have changed through the years because of unavoidable scheduling conflicts and moves out of the area, but the group has consistently ranged in size from eight to twelve couples. We have covered great biblical material and teachings on love; improving our marriages around the cornerstone of Christ; consistent and loving parenting; and recognizing, dealing with, and seeking protection from spiritual warfare. We have also participated together in a lot of social activities—nights out, 5K runs for worthwhile causes, and a number of holiday parties and other get-togethers. As a result we have grown, not only in our walk of faith, but also in a closer relationship with one another.

A natural, obvious (as we look back), but unintended consequence of growing closer has been that we’ve become a valuable, trusted, and indispensable support system for one another—spiritually, emotionally, educationally, and physically. But more than that, our marriages have grown stronger because of the loving and positive influence we have had on one another.

Adventure Application: If you are part of a couples’ small group, how is it helping you grow? If it isn’t, what might your group learn from the example of Christ and His disciples? If you’re not in a group, check with your church about couples’ small groups. While joining a group may seem risky, it’s a great way to grow close to Christ while gaining a support system.