More Than One Way To Grow A Family

CORE PRACTICE #11: Prepare your mind and heart so you are ready for the opportunities God brings to you.

How joyful are those who fear the LORD— all who follow his ways! You will enjoy the fruit of your labor. How joyful and prosperous you will be! Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within your home. Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around your table. That is the LORD’s blessing for those who fear him.

—Psalm 128:1-4

Lauren

I always wanted a big family. Tony wanted a big family as well. It’s just that my definition and his definition of big—let’s say they might have been a little different.

Don’t get me wrong; Tony dearly loves all our children and is an incredible, hands-on, involved father. But he grew up with three siblings, and I think when we first talked about having children, he was probably thinking that four kids would be a nice, round number.

I grew up with four siblings and many more cousins within my extended family. I always considered our large family to be a gift from God. As a result, after Tony and I got married, I was always praying for and looking forward to having a large family full of children of our own.

God answered my prayers, but in His own divine way and perfect timing.

When we married, I was a sixth-grade teacher and never lacked for a classroom of children to love, nurture, and encourage. I learned to look for the opportunities God gave me to make a difference in my students’ lives, to share the love of God with each of them, and to help them find their own sense of self-worth. Tony, of course, had his own “boys” to mentor—the players he was coaching.

Little did we know as a newly married couple what else God had in mind for us. Perhaps Tony should have seen a glimpse when we got a dog . . . and then another . . . and then another! One quickly turned into three. Of course, since we didn’t have children at that time, maybe he didn’t have reason to see the parallel between a houseful of dogs and my vision of a big family.

Even as newlyweds, we’d always had a soft spot in our hearts for those who were down on their luck and needed uplifting in life. After all, God models such care for us all through His Word. So when God provided opportunities for us to help children through the local foster care agency in Pittsburgh, we took them. Today we thank God for giving us the opportunity to have nurtured more than twenty-five foster children.

As we look back, we realize that if our hearts and minds had been set just on having children of our own, we might have missed some of these opportunities to be instruments of God’s love through the years. But of course, over time God also blessed us with nine children of our own. We have the big family we always wanted—maybe bigger than Tony envisioned, but just perfect for us.

Do I still believe a big family is a blessing? You bet. And only God knew how best to prepare us for His gift!

Adventure Application: Instead of focusing on something you want God to do for you, open your mind wide to all the possibilities that God may have planned for you this very day. Is there a door of opportunity you have closed that God’s been looking to reopen? Pray for such an opening—and for an open heart to walk through it in faith.