Sometimes We Just Have To Get Quiet

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory

in Christ, after you have suffered a little while,

will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

(1 Peter 5:10 – 11)

Remember that our goal, whether we are exploding and shaming ourselves or exploding and blaming others, is imperfect progress. When I’ve had an explosion, I feel a lot more imperfect than I do progress. We’re dealing with emotions and relationships — both of which are like nailing Jell-O to the wall. It’s a complicated, messy, and unpredictable process, for sure. Sometimes a girl can get worn out, wonder if she’s ever going to really stop exploding, and feel like giving up.

But before I give up, I’ve learned to hush up. This often means hitting a pause button on whatever situation is making me feel like exploding. Ideally, this would mean getting away by myself in the quiet of my home. Sometimes this means excusing myself to the restroom. Bathroom stalls can make great prayer closets (smile). The point is that the only way I can see what God is doing and attend to what He reveals is to get quiet with Him.

Here are five beautiful things I’ve discovered in the quiet with God — straight from Scripture in 1 Peter 5:6 – 10. They are balm for the raw edges of a soul on the precipice of exploding.

1. In the quiet, we feel safe enough to humble ourselves.

The last thing I want to do in the heat of an emotional mess is to be humble. I want to be loud and proud and to prove my point. But I’ve learned the hard way that I have to step out of the battle and humbly ask God to speak truth to my heart in order for things to start making sense. Never have I had a relationship issue in which I didn’t contribute at least something to the problem. Usually, I can only see this something in the quiet. The quiet is what enables us to “humble [ourselves], therefore, under God’s mighty hand” (1 Peter 5:6).

2. In the quiet, God lifts us up to a more rational place.

When we are in the heat of a tangled mess, crazy emotions drag us down into a pit of hopelessness. The only way out of the pit is to make the choice to stop digging deeper and turn to God for a solution, so “that [God] may lift you up in due time” (1 Peter 5:6).

3. In the quiet, anxiety gives way to progress.

We can pour out our anxious hearts to Jesus, who loves us right where we are, just as we are. Because His love comes without unfair human judgment, we soften and feel safe enough to humbly admit we need Jesus to work on us. Trying to fix another person only adds to my anxiety. Letting Jesus work on me is where real progress happens. I claim the promise of 1 Peter 5:7: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

4. In the quiet, we acknowledge that our real enemy isn’t the other person.

This person with whom we’re in conflict may seem like the enemy and they might even look like the enemy. But the truth is, they aren’t the real culprit. The real culprit is Satan, who is exerting influence on both me and the person offending me. I don’t always realize this in the heat of the moment, but in the quiet, I can remind myself of the truth and choose a strategy for responding with self-control. That’s the wisdom of Scripture, which says, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith” (1 Peter 5:8 – 9).

5. In the quiet, I can rest assured God will use this conflict for good—no matter how it turns out.

If I make the effort to handle this conflict well, I can be freed from the pressure to make everything turn out rosy. Sometimes relationships grow stronger through conflict; other times relationships end. Because I can’t control the other person, I must keep focusing on the good God is working out in me through this and leave the outcome with Him. God’s Word promises that “the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast” (1 Peter 5:10).

Maybe you can add to this list as you discover your own benefits in getting quiet when all you really want to do is explode.

Imperfect progress.

Can you sense you’re making your way toward this goal?