The Friendship Challenge

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart,

and the pleasantness of a friend springs

from their heartfelt advice.

(Proverbs 27:9)

What makes a woman tender also reveals her vulnerabilities.

What makes a woman transparent also exposes her wounds.

What makes a woman authentic also uncovers her insecurities.

And there isn’t a woman alive who likes being revealed, exposed, and uncovered. But to establish real intimacy with a friend requires pushing past this resistance, past the fear, and past our unglued reactions. To be known is to risk being hurt.

Friendship is risky. But friendship can be beautiful.

I want you to think about a friend in whom you can make an investment this week. I challenge you not to think of the friend with whom you feel most comfortable. Rather, think of the friend who might benefit from seeing a little more of your tenderness, transparency, and authenticity.

There is someone in your sphere of influence who feels desperate to know that someone else understands.

Might you take three days and give her three friendship investments?

Day 1: Have a conversation with her in which you honestly admit one of your vulnerabilities or insecurities. Chances are, she’ll reveal something of herself to you as well. Then commit, really commit, to praying for her.

Maybe wear your watch on the opposite wrist. Every time you’re distracted by this out-of-sorts placement, use it as a prompt to pray for your friend. Think of the burden she’s been carrying lately and carry it in your prayers this day.

Day 2: Buy this friend a gift —just because. It doesn’t have to cost much, but make an investment of time to think of something that would really be delightful to her.

Day 3: Write your friend a note to attach to the gift. In the note, tell her at least three things you admire about her and acknowledge some way she’s made a difference in your life. Then deliver this little just-because gift and note to your friend. This friend who sometimes feels a little vulnerable. Wounded. Exposed in some way.

Your honesty and thoughtfulness will be such a sweet investment —for her, for you, for your friendship.

Being vulnerable in a friendship is a great way to pave the road to the kind of honesty that keeps our relationships healthy.

Are you up for taking the friendship challenge?