Friendship In Heaven
Friendship in Heaven
Excerpted from “A Prepared Place for a Prepared People” Sermon #2751, May 25, 1879
The Bible is clear that there will not be marriage in Heaven, but what about friendship? In this text, Spurgeon argues that we will continue the close relationships we’ve had on Earth and that these bonds will only grow stronger throughout eternity.
Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:23-26
I do not know what better world, in many respects, there could be than this, so far as material nature is concerned. It is so full of the beauty and loveliness that God pours upon it on every side. It is a wonderful world.
But I could not reconcile myself to the idea that this world would be Heaven. It will do well enough for the thousand years of glory, if it shall literally be that we shall reign with Christ upon it during the millennial age. But it is a drossy thing, and if it is ever to be the scene of the new heavens and the New Earth, it must first pass through the fire. The very smell of sin is upon it, and God will not use this globe as a vessel unto honor until he has purified it with fire as he once did with water.
Do you not think, dear friends, that our Lord Jesus Christ prepares Heaven for his people by going there? Supposing you were to be lifted up to a state which was supposedly Heaven but that Jesus was not there. It would be no Heaven to you. But wherever I may go, when I do go, if Jesus is already there, I do not care where it is! Wherever he is shall be my Heaven. For that is our very first and last thought about Heaven: to be with Christ where he is. To be with Christ is far better than to be anywhere else.
The first thing that Christ had to do in order to prepare Heaven for his people was to go to Heaven, for that made it Heaven. Oh, how I long to see him in his glory! I would part with all the joys of time and sense to gaze upon him seated upon his throne. Oh, what will it be to see him? You have seen how painters have failed when they have tried to depict him. The bravest artist may well tremble and the brightest colors fade when anyone tries to paint him even in his humiliation. There is no other face so marred as his face was. But what will it be in Heaven when it is marred no more? No tear in his eye! No spittle running down his cheeks! But, oh, the glory of humanity perfected and allied with deity! “The king in his beauty!” (Isaiah 33:17).
It struck me as I turned this subject over in my mind that our Lord Jesus Christ knew that there was a place to be prepared for each one of his people. It may be—I cannot tell—that in some part of the society of Heaven, one spirit will be happier than it might have been in another part. You know that, even though you love all the brothers and sisters, you cannot help feeling most at home with some of them.
Our blessed Lord and Master had no sinful favoritism, yet he did love twelve men better than all the rest of his disciples. And out of the twelve, he loved three whom he introduced into mysteries from which he excluded the other nine. And even out of the three, there was one, you know, who was that disciple whom Jesus loved (John 13:23). Now everybody here has his likings. I do not know if we shall carry anything of that spirit to Heaven. If we do, Christ has so prepared a place for us that you shall be nearest, in your position and occupation, to those who would contribute most to your happiness.
You shall be where you can most honor God and most enjoy God. But depend upon it: if there be any association—any more intimate connection—between some saints than among others, Jesus Christ will so beautifully arrange it that we shall all be in the happiest places.
If you were to give a dinner party and you had a number of friends there, you would like to pick the seats for them. You would say, “Now, there is So-and-so. I know that he would like to sit next to So-and-so,” and you would try so to arrange it. Well, in that grand wedding feast above, our Savior has so prepared a place for us that he will find us each the right position.
We know that there have been bonds of spirit that may still continue. I sometimes think that if I could have any choice as to those I should live near in Heaven, I should like to live in the region of such distinctive folk as Rowland Hill and John Berridge.a I think I would get on best with them, for we could talk together of the way God led us and how he brought souls to Christ by us. Though some said that we were a good deal too merry when we were down below and that the people laughed when they listened to us, and some spoke as if that were a great sin, we will make them laugh up yonder, I warrant you, as we tell again the wonders of redeeming love and of the grace of God—their mouths shall be filled with laughter and their tongues with singing! And then—
Loudest of the crowd I’ll sing, While heaven’s resounding mansions ring With shouts of sovereign grace.53
And I expect each of you who love the Lord will say the same.
Let me just say this to you: The place is prepared. Are you prepared for it? Do you believe on the Lord Jesus Christ? If so, your preparation has begun. Do you love the Lord and love his people? If so, your preparation is going on. Do you hate sin, and do you long for holiness? If so, your preparation is progressing. Are you nothing at all, and is Jesus Christ your all in all? Then you are almost ready. May the Lord keep you in that condition and before long swing up the gates of pearl and let you in to the prepared place! May the Lord bring us all safely there, for Jesus’ sake! Amen.
For Christians, to die is to “be present with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:8, NKJV). The apostle Paul says, “I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far” (Philippians 1:23, NIV). He could have said, “I desire to depart and be in Heaven,” but he didn’t—his mind was on being with his Lord Jesus, which is the most significant aspect of Heaven.
Seventeenth-century Scottish theologian Samuel Rutherford says, “O, my Lord Jesus Christ, if I could be in heaven without thee, it would be a hell; and if I could be in hell, and have thee still, it would be a heaven to me, for thou art all the heaven I want.”b Martin Luther said, “I had rather be in hell with Christ, than be in heaven without him.”c
When Jesus prays that we will be with him in Heaven, he explains why: “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world” (John 17:24, NIV, emphasis added). When we accomplish something, we want to share it with those closest to us. Likewise, Jesus wants to share with us his glory—the glory of his accomplishments and his being.
Our greatest pleasure, our greatest satisfaction, is to behold his glory. As John Piper says, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.”d
We’ll worship Jesus as the Almighty and bow to him in reverence, yet we’ll never sense his disapproval in Heaven—because we’ll never disappoint him. He’ll never be unhappy with us. We’ll be able to relax fully—the other shoe will never drop. No skeletons will fall out of our closets. Christ bore every one of our sins. He paid the ultimate price so we would be forever free from sin—and the fear of sin.
All barriers between us and him will be gone forever. He will be our best friend there.
I love that Spurgeon expresses his desire to live near Rowland Hill and John Berridge in Heaven, two men who died before he was born. When he talks of the three of them being “a good deal too merry,” we see not only Spurgeon’s spunk but also the sense of camaraderie he anticipates in Heaven. Spurgeon had an astounding number of critics who reproached him about everything from his doctrine to his humor to his weight to his cigar smoking. Spurgeon says of himself and his as-yet-unmet friends Hill and Berridge, “We will make them laugh up yonder, I warrant you, as we tell again the wonders of redeeming love and of the grace of God—their mouths shall be filled with laughter.”
The Bible doesn’t directly address the concept of special friendships in Heaven, but is there any basis for Spurgeon’s position? I think so. First, since we remain human in the Resurrection—since we maintain our identities and since our memories are part of who we are—shouldn’t I expect to be particularly close to my wife and daughters and sons-in-law and dearest friends? Is there any reason to believe we won’t pick right up in Heaven where our relationships from Earth left off?
True, there won’t be marriage as we know it here (Matthew 22:30), but there will be one marriage—our marriage to Christ. That means as fellow members of the body of Christ, my wife, Nanci, and I will be part of the same marriage forever—our marriage to Jesus. Wouldn’t it be fitting and in keeping with God’s ways, given our many years of growing in Christ and serving him together here, that we would be close friends when we’re with him?
I think we’ll especially enjoy connecting with those we faced tough times with on Earth and saying, “Did you ever imagine Heaven would be so wonderful?” We all have our own Rowland Hills and John Berridges, don’t we? Enjoying God and enjoying one another go hand in hand. Augustine said, “All of us who enjoy God are also enjoying each other in Him.”e
The odd notion that relationships with family and friends won’t continue in Heaven flies in the face of Paul’s encouragement to the Thessalonians in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 to look forward to rejoining their loved ones in the presence of Jesus and his encouragement to comfort one another with those words. The comfort is not “Don’t worry—you won’t remember or care about them anyway.” The comfort comes from the anticipation that we will actually see our loved ones again.
Do you have a close friend who has had a profound influence on you? Do you think it is a coincidence that she was in your dorm wing or became your roommate? Was it accidental that your desk was near his or that his family lived next door or that your father was transferred when you were in third grade so that you ended up in his neighborhood? “From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands” (Acts 17:26, NIV).
Since God determined the time and places where you would live, it’s no accident which neighborhood you grew up in, who lived next door, who went to school with you, who was part of your church youth group, who was there to help you and pray for you. It’s no accident that Charles Spurgeon heard about and read about Rowland Hill and John Berridge and was touched by God through their stories. It’s no accident that God gave me the friends and the profound influences he has given me. Some of these men and women are from different times and places, and I have not yet met them except through books. Our relationships, past and present, direct and indirect, were appointed by God, and there’s every reason to believe they’ll not only continue but expand in Heaven.
God’s plan won’t stop on the New Earth. He doesn’t abandon his purposes; he extends and fulfills them. Friendships begun on Earth will continue in Heaven, growing richer than ever.
Notice Spurgeon’s point that Jesus loved twelve men more than the rest of his disciples and that he loved three most out of those and that one, John, was his most-beloved disciple. While Spurgeon isn’t certain we’ll have favorite relationships in Heaven, he clearly hopes we will. He says, “If we do, Christ has so prepared a place for us that you shall be nearest, in your position and occupation, to those who would contribute most to your happiness.”
If, as you walk about the New Jerusalem, you see Adam and Eve holding hands as they look at the tree of life, would you begrudge them their special friendship? Of course not. And no one will begrudge you yours.
Perhaps you’re disappointed that you’ve never experienced the close friendships you long for. In Heaven you’ll have much closer relationships with some people you know now. But it’s also true that you may not have met your closest friends yet. Maybe your future best friend, after Jesus himself, will be someone sitting next to you at the first great feast. Don’t be surprised. After all, as Spurgeon suggests, the sovereign God, who orchestrates and redeems friendships, will be in charge of the seating arrangements.
a Rowland Hill was a popular preacher in London who died a year before Spurgeon was born, and John Berridge was an English revivalist and hymn writer in the eighteenth century.
b Samuel Rutherford, quoted in Charles H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, January 17, morning reading.
c Martin Luther, quoted in James M. Campbell, Heaven Opened: A Book of Comfort and Hope (New York: Revell, 1924), 148.
d John Piper, Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist (Sisters, OR: Multnomah, 1996), 50.
e Augustine, On the Christian Doctrine, 1:32–35.
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