Even When You Don’t Feel Like It

I have set the LORD always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

There are seasons when I wake up and can’t wait to open my Bible, and there are seasons when I leave it closed and reach for my phone instead. During times when I desire other things more than God, it is not because he has changed, it’s because my desires have changed. Spending too much time focused on the things of this world weakens my love for God, causing me to crave what’s fleeting instead of what’s eternal.

Even in my wayward, half-hearted seasons, my faithless life does not nullify God’s faithfulness (see 2 Timothy 2:13). C. S. Lewis writes of the predicament of choosing the world over the Word: “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”^a

I confess that I have been that child Lewis talks about—making mud pies in the slums, thinking this is as good as it gets when I could be delighting in the infinite riches of God’s Word. But even when our desires are shallow, God takes our mediocre mudpies and trades them for his precious promises. We can accept his invitation to enjoy a “holiday at the sea” and bask in the beauty of the gospel.

God’s Word is filled with stories of people like us—frail, feeble, faltering, half-hearted creatures. At the same time, God’s Word is jam-packed with glimpses into his faithful, consistent character. Like a multifaceted diamond, sparkling with perfect cuts, God reveals himself through the unfolding of his unfailing promises and his trustworthy nature. God is able to take our lackluster desires and transform them into wholehearted affection for him. But in order to attune ourselves to his heart, we must come to him and open his Word.

There will always be obstacles we need to overcome in studying God’s Word. Wayward feelings try to convince us that we don’t need God. But he is greater than our feelings (see 1 John 3:20). Come to him in your brokenness, in your need, with your questions, with your apathetic desires. You may not feel like studying the Word, but you can know that life is found there, regardless of your feelings.

Bring every emotion and thought to the one who already knows them (see Psalm 139:1-3). Open your Bible, even when your desire is half-hearted and weak. As you set aside your mud pies and come to him, you’ll experience fullness of joy in his presence and enjoy pleasures forevermore (see Psalm 16:11). And these pleasures in Christ will be even better than a holiday at the sea.

Word before World God is able to take our half-hearted desires and fan them into whole-hearted love for him.

Grow in Grace Don’t let your feelings dictate whether you open God’s Word today. No matter how you’re feeling, let your emotions serve as a reminder that you need him.