Renew Your Mind - No More Perfect Marriages

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:5-6, ESV)

I sat in the counselor’s office sorting through a lot that was happening in my life and marriage. In answer to his question, “How do you feel?” I replied with, “I really don’t know. Feelings don’t matter.”

“You know, Jill, I’ve heard you say that a lot over our sessions. Where did that lie come from?”

“It’s a lie?” I responded. “I don’t think it’s a lie. It’s my truth,” I continued.

“It is a lie, Jill. You were created in the image of God and God is a feeling God. Somewhere along the way, you’ve shut down your emotions. Let’s talk about that.”

We explored my childhood experiences, and I discovered that while I was raised in a loving home and a loving family, my family didn’t do emotions. When life was hard, I just had to “buck up” and figure it out on my own. This eventually led me to believe deep down that “feelings don’t matter.”

Just like today’s verse from Romans 8, that lie was the flesh and it was bringing death to my heart and relationships. It kept me from empathizing with others. It didn’t allow me to be very compassionate at times.

The truth was that feelings do matter because they’re part of the way God designed me. That’s the truth that would set me free if I could learn to set my mind on the truth.

We “live according to the flesh” when we ruminate on lies. We “live according to the Spirit” when we push our thinking to the truth.

Every day after that counseling session, I would speak my new truth aloud: Feelings do matter because they’re part of the way God designed me in His image.

Eventually I began to embrace my emotions. This allowed me to become a more compassionate wife and mother. It also kept me from defaulting to a “buck up” mindset. I soon began to experience new life in my heart and my relationships.

We all struggle with our thinking. This is why the Bible tells us to “take our thoughts captive” (2 Corinthians 10:5) and to “renew our mind” (Romans 12:2) and to “set our mind” on the Spirit (Romans 8:6).

Where are you believing lies about yourself, your value, your emotions, your spouse, or your God? What’s the truth that refutes those lies? Start setting your mind on that truth today.

Prayer:

Lord, I confess that too often I take the bait of the enemy and believe the lies in my head. Reveal to me where I’m believing lies and help me to set my mind on the truth that brings life and peace to me and my relationships. I want to build new highways in my mind, and I know You can help me do that. In Jesus’ name. Amen.