Love Brings Change - The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional

Love Brings Change

Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.

Colossians 3:14

CONTROL IS A SIGNIFICANT ISSUE in some relationships. One wife who was struggling with a controlling husband told me, “I feel like I’m a bird in a cage. Actually, I feel like a hamster in a cage—I don’t have wings anymore. I don’t want a divorce, but I don’t know how much longer I can go on living under such pressure.” This wife has lost her freedom and is feeling the pain of incarceration.

Is there hope? Yes, and it begins by believing that things can change. Can her husband change? Yes! Can she help stimulate that change? Yes! Her most powerful influence is love. The apostle Paul writes in Colossians 3 that we should seek love above all else. Why? Because love has the power to unite people, to bind them together even more closely. That’s a powerful influence in a marriage.

In this woman’s situation, two kinds of love are needed. First comes soft or tender love. She needs to learn to speak her husband’s love language and seek to meet his need for emotional love. Second is tough love. She can say, “I love you too much to sit here and do nothing while you destroy our marriage.” Then she must lay out some ground rules and consequences—in effect, tell him what she will do until he takes steps to change his behavior.

When a spouse first feels tender love, he is then able to receive tough love.

Father, when I’m struggling in my marriage, help me to respond first with love. May my genuine, tender love speak to my spouse and clear the way for the necessary tough love to follow. Please guide me as I take these steps.

Tough Love