"Using God’s Truth To Direct Our Parenting"

“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.” (Matthew 7:24-27, NLT)

“Jesus said to the people who believed in him, ‘You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’” (John 8:31-32, NLT)

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” (Galatians 5:22-23, NLT)

Perhaps the biggest challenge in parenting doesn’t have to do with the kids in our homes but the ones in our heads. These “kids” are the beliefs and ideas we were raised with, as well as the ones we adopt and choose to dwell on as adults. When we take time to stop and examine them, we may be surprised to discover that they drive us to respond to our children in ways that are at odds with our love for Christ and for them.

Simply put, our deepest beliefs impact how we parent, and how we parent impacts what our children will come to believe. If what they believe becomes the filter through which they interpret everything—ultimately determining how they choose to think, feel, and act—then our work is to help them develop a truth-oriented filter. This will dramatically increase the odds that they will move in the direction of healthy spiritual growth rather than being led astray by the ever-changing philosophical winds of this world. We are best positioned to do that work when we first begin to confront what we truly believe.

The truth I am talking about is God’s truth as revealed in His Word, the Bible, not our culture or our own personal desires. Reflecting the character of God, the Word of God is eternal, unchanging, life-giving, grace-filled, and powerful beyond our comprehension. God’s character does not always leave us feeling comfortable, but His truths will always move us toward greater godliness and peace.

A belief that many conscientious, loving parents hold is that “good” parents make sure their kids are happy. When I ask people what they want for their kids, most include this characteristic at the top of their list.

Let’s consider whether the priority of happiness passes the truth-oriented filter. Have you ever noticed that happiness is not one of the fruits of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23)? Joy makes the list, but happiness does not. Why? From a Christian standpoint, joy is God-centered. It comes from God and our relationship with Him, and it brings glory to Him. Unlike happiness, it is not dependent upon fulfilled desires or favorable circumstances.

If we are parenting our children to be spiritually strong, happiness cannot be our main priority; after all, teaching our children to dwell on what is true will not always make them happy. In fact, the more faithful they are to God, the more opposition they will face from others who are doing wrong. They will also experience discomfort when they stray from what they know is right.

We will never regret teaching our children to pursue and serve God rather than their personal comfort or happiness. This perspective will never let them down, even when the storms of life come their way. When they learn to focus on seeking His truth, He will reveal the best ways for them to think and live. They can experience joy.