One Day At A Time

And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

2 Corinthians 9:8

THE SPIRITUAL BRILLIANCE OF MARRIAGE CAN ALSO SEEM LIKE ITS GREATEST curse. Because God has created a relationship that only death is to break, we have the security of working through issues we might otherwise feel tempted to run from. But that blessing can, during difficult seasons, seem like a curse. Because only death or adultery can break the bonds of marriage, it may sometimes feel like the dark season we’re in has no end in sight—night without a coming dawn, winter with no ensuing spring.

And that can make us panic.

It all comes down to how we look at it. When I ran my first marathon, I had a clear goal in mind. Because the usual mistake is to go out too fast, I made an ironclad decision to run the first thirteen miles at a certain pace. When I started to feel the strain, I didn’t think, How can I keep this up for another two hours? Instead, I told myself, “Just focus on this: can you run the next mile in this amount of time?” Taking it one mile at a time, I ran the race much faster than my goal pace.

If you’re in a difficult season in your marriage and you start to think, How can I take another ten or twenty or, God forbid, thirty years of this? you’re headed for trouble. You’re asking God to give you the grace for something that hasn’t happened. Instead, break it down to a single unit—a single day: “Just focus on this: can I love my husband [or wife] for this day?” Don’t think about ten years down the road, or even ten months! Can you love your spouse for this one day?

Some friends who knew I was running the Seattle Marathon asked me, “How did you do that for twenty-six miles?”

My answer? “One mile at a time.”

How do you stay married for twenty-six years?

One day at a time.

Break it down. Focus on the here and now. Put the future in God’s hands. Some miles will seem easy, and some will feel hard, but you need to focus only on the one you’re currently running. Let the others remain in his care.