A Parent To Be Proud Of

Parents are the pride of their children.

PROVERBS 17:6

AS A YOUNG BOY, I FELT GREAT JOY GROWING UP WITH A FATHER I could look up to. My dad worked in management at a public utility, and he regularly helped some of our friends get summer jobs there. When a girlfriend of mine got hired, everybody kept asking her if she had met “the big man” yet—they were referring not to his size but to the fact that he ran the whole office.

“No,” she replied, “I don’t think so.”

“You will,” they told her, “but don’t worry. He’s a really nice guy.”

When the time came for the grand introduction, my girlfriend laughed as she realized she had met “the big man”—and my dad gave her a hug. When she told me about this, I can’t tell you how much my heart swelled that others looked up to my dad like I did. I knew my dad wouldn’t scandalize our family. He had a respectable job, and he was a man of character and integrity. I felt proud to be his son.

Part of the discipline of parenthood is to be a person my children can feel proud of. My reputation will affect theirs; I don’t want them to have to feel embarrassed to “admit” that, yes, they’re related to me. I’ve invited a few key people to keep me accountable for this very reason. I don’t want to do anything that would make my kids ashamed. And since I know the heart is deceitful, I want other men to warn me when I’m getting too close to the boundaries.

Luke tells us that Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, attracted God’s attention in part because she was “righteous in the sight of God.” She observed “all the Lord’s commands and decrees blamelessly” (Luke 1:6). Like Elizabeth, we must consecrate ourselves for the purpose of raising one of God’s image bearers. Andrew Murray reflects, “Every expectant mother should offer her body as the temple of the Holy Spirit, so that the very beginning of life in her may be overshadowed by the Holy Spirit.”^a

This consecration is an ongoing process. In fact, it’s a very healthy exercise as a mother or father to ask, “What would my son or daughter think if they knew I was doing this?” There are many reasons to pursue holiness, but raising children is certainly one of the more important ones. So often, we parents become so consumed with our kids “staying out of trouble” that we forget we can get in just as much trouble. All of us—young and old alike—are called to offer our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit.

Kids desire parents they can be proud of—even in the most extreme situations. While in a Communist prison because of his Christian beliefs, a father named Florescu was tortured with red-hot iron pokers and knives. When the torture didn’t break Florescu’s spirit, the Communists put starving rats into his cell through a long pipe, which meant Florescu could never get any sleep. As soon as he started to nod off, he’d literally get eaten, so he had to stay awake to defend himself. This went on for fourteen days, but still Florescu refused to reveal the names of other Christians in his fellowship.

Then the Communists brought in Florescu’s fourteen-year-old son and whipped the boy in front of his father. As the young boy cried out, the Communists taunted Florescu, telling him they would continue to beat his son until he told them what they wanted to know.

Finally, Florescu had had enough. “Alexander!” he cried out. “I must say what they want. I can’t bear your beating anymore!”

Astonishingly, young Alexander answered with an even more impassioned plea: “Father, don’t do me the injustice of having a traitor as a parent. Withstand! If they kill me, I will die with the words, ‘Jesus and my fatherland.’ ”^b

Florescu never forgot his son’s words: “Father, don’t do me the injustice of having a traitor as a parent.” For Florescu’s son, having a father he could feel proud of was even more important than his own life. Maybe that’s why Joshua’s famous line, “As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD” (Joshua 24:15), begins with me. Before my household serves God, I commit myself to serving God. “As for me and my household . . .”

I don’t want a traitor for a son, but, even more, my son doesn’t want a traitor for a father.

Heavenly Father, you are a God we are honored and proud to worship. Help us to be parents our children can respect and admire. Win the battle for our hearts and minds so that we can live as positive examples for the children you’ve placed in our care. In Jesus’ name, amen.