Nourishment

Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.

—Proverbs 17:1

We have a friend who really wants things to be fun. So much so, in fact, that I finally grumbled to my husband mid-fun at one of our friend’s events, “It’s not fun if you have to manhandle us!” I think it bothered me so much because, like all things that make us crazy, it reminded me way too much of myself. I’ve overthought, overplanned, and manhandled so many parties and meals over the years.

In entertaining, as in every area of life, there are experts and rock stars, people who load us up with expectations and set impossibly high standards so that most of us give up and the rest of us feel terrible about ourselves when we inevitably fall short.

But entertaining isn’t a competition. It’s an act of love, if you let it be. You can twist it into anything you want—a way to show off your house, to compete with your friends, to earn love and approval. Or you can decide that every time you open your door, it’s an act of love. You can decide that every time people gather around your table, your goal is nourishment, not neurotic proving. You can decide.