Conscious Decisions

To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue.

—Proverbs 16:1

Recently I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in years. “I heard you’re engaged!” I cried as I hugged her, exuberantly. “Congratulations!”

“I’m not engaged,” she said. “I was, and I’m not anymore.” Oh, heavens. I started to apologize, but she put her hand on my arm and interrupted me.

“It’s all right,” she said. “Breaking the engagement was the first conscious decision of my life.”

What an extraordinary statement. And as I spent time with her, I could see the truth of her words, the bloom of her eyes and skin and spirit. She had made a fundamental, defining choice, and it brought life and hope to her world.

Her words rang in my ears because I wanted to make a conscious decision of my own, and her words gave a name to something I’d been aching for a long time. Many of the key decisions in my life just seemed like the most natural progression. I want to live consciously, like my friend does. I want to be brave enough to make changes, awake enough to move past what’s planned and expected.