On Being Human

The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

—Mark 6:30–31

When I’m in a really busy season, what I think I need is work. My first impulse is to put my head down and work, work, work, treating myself like a robot, a bad robot, in fact, for daring to be tired, daring to need anything. I get into this nutty mindset that insists that whatever other things I could be doing—like seeing a therapist, sleeping, reading—must be put on hold until the war is over, because I am a soldier.

What I really need, though, is pretty much the exact opposite. I need self-care. Instead of working like a soldier or a robot, I’m learning to work like a human. Like a tender, loved human being person who needs rest, who needs downtime, who needs kindness and nurturing along the way. I need lots of breaks, lots of self-care, lots of space. This kind of stuff doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m good at work, and I’m good at fun/play/planning/hosting/keeping busybusybusy, but I’m not great at rest or self-care. But I did take a nap today. Baby steps?