When There’s A Hole In Your Soul - Needing Control Is Controlling You

When There’s a Hole in Your Soul - Needing Control Is Controlling You

IN MY YOUTH, I needed to be right. But being right takes a tremendous amount of energy—from you and the other people in the room. Also, needing to be right can almost ensure that you will alienate others. And really, when you think about it . . . who in the devil will even care next Tuesday if you were right or not?

As we mature, our need to be right morphs into the need to be in control. I have a news flash: none of us are in control. Just pick up the local newspaper, watch the world news, or try to reason with a two-year-old. Honey, you’re not in control.

This is a fairly easy concept to grasp; however, understanding it doesn’t make life easier when you like to be in charge but things are not going your way. During one four-month stint, I worked with a team of professionals to develop a corporate Web site. On a scale of one to ten, my frustration level on any given day was about nineteen! Why? Because the development of the code was beyond my control. I’m a “get-it-done” gal—I don’t like to fool around waiting for things to happen or for people to take action. So my frustration over my lack of control ate a hole in my soul (and probably my stomach lining). I finally decided one morning that I was fighting an invisible army and it was time to lay down my shield. God’s timing is much more perfect than Ellen’s timing—so I took a chill pill. (And I took one the next day, the next day, and the day after that!)

Some women want to control their friendships, the PTA board, the neighborhood association, the church bake sale, their daughters-in-law, and the yard boy. Strangely enough, we’re totally out of control when we’re driven by the need to control, which is always at conflict with finding uncommon joy anyway. The ultimate in self-control is knowing you need not be in control at all.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. (Philippians 4:6)

The best kept secret is the one you keep in your heart. And that’s the one where you know your position but no longer require others to agree or approve. How much of your life and energy are you wasting on trying to control circumstances and other people? Choose to give him control.