Being Friendly But Firm

Being Friendly but Firm

Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.

My daughter came home upset. Another little girl in her class was being unkind to her. It was not anything so extreme that I needed to step in, but just little unkind comments or looks—things that made my daughter feel slightly insecure. As I asked my daughter questions about the other girl—her life and how she treated others—it became evident that this girl may have had other things going on at home. It also became clear that my daughter was not the only girl in her class receiving comments and condescending looks: this girl treated many of the other girls in the same manner.

Once I realized this, the focus of our conversation began to shift to imagining what might be going on at home for this other child and why she might be speaking so unkindly to Jasmine and her other classmates. We then talked about not taking things personally, especially when we realize the behavior of another is not targeted only at us, and about how looking for ways to show compassion for another, even when they are mean to us, can shape the way we think about and interact with them. We ended by praying for the other girl and discussing ways that Jasmine could model good friendship behavior while also not letting the other girl continue to be unkind to her.

Jesus’ command to respond to cursing with blessing is sometimes hard to hear when faced with a difficult person who has been unkind to us. I told my daughter that one way we respond to those around us is to resist the urge to act in the same manner as the person, and instead be friendly but firm. This means we do not have to subject ourselves to the abuse of others, but we can be loving in the way we respond to them. Then most importantly, we can pray for them, which is exactly what my daughter and I did for that little girl. It may not have completely resolved the situation, but it changed the way my daughter viewed the other girl, and that makes all the difference.

— Kendra

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Think of a way that you can respond in a loving way toward someone who has been unkind to you and then say a prayer for that person.