The “Small” Group

The “Small” Group

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.

My coleader, Joy, and I had just finished preparing for our new church small group at my home. Low music was on, chocolate and beverages were out, and we were ready—or so we thought.

The doorbell rang. And rang. And rang. By the time I breathlessly finished answering the door and running back to the kitchen, fifteen women had arrived for our “small” group.

The night was rife with minor problems. There were a couple of well-meaning talkers who dominated the conversation, while others hardly got a word in. The discussion wandered off-topic no matter how many times we tried to steer it to the book. As I shut the door behind the last of them a couple of hours later and turned to my friend, we both looked a little shell-shocked.

The next week, only three people showed up. What had happened?

Like Goldilocks and her search for the perfect porridge, we’d run into the problems of being too large and then too small. In a too-large group, members might not think their voice or presence matters—after all, they might reason that others are waiting to take their place. A smaller group conveys intimacy and builds trust among members, and if someone misses a week, others notice. But a group that is too small can be intimidating and awkward. Unfortunately for us, and unlike Goldilocks, there really never was a “just right” group size, and we struggled the entire season.

Evaluating the dynamics afterward, I was forced to wonder: How do we foster community in ways that encourage true connection? The book of Hebrews encourages us as believers to meet together and motivate one another in our faith. Though mistakes happen and some things are beyond our control, I’ve come to realize that some of the responsibility rests on our shoulders. As leaders, we could have broken the original large group into two smaller groups, or sent personal messages to each member to make sure they knew how valued they were to us. As friends, we need to be willing to adapt, even when circumstances seem challenging.

— Kristin

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Consider adapting your behavior in a challenging friendship or group to meet the needs of others.