Side By Side

Side by Side

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

My sister Kendra told me once that if you want to have an honest conversation with someone, go for a drive. There’s something about sitting side by side, not having to make eye contact, that makes people open up about the challenges they’re facing while the landscape scrolls past the window.

Side by side is a strategy that works with my children, too. At night, I often snuggle next to my oldest daughter in the top bunk bed in the room she shares with her sister. At nine, she has a whole host of worries that my youngest, at four years old, can’t even begin to fathom. Those quiet, sacred moments at the end of the day are when she’ll tell me things she would never dare say aloud in the light of day with her sisters bouncing around her. Instead, side by side is where she finds the courage to confidingly tell me who hurt her feelings, why school felt hard that day, or what someone said that she didn’t understand.

Side-by-side conversation in a car provides connection yet removes the burden of eye contact. As the person focused on staying within the white lines while driving, we can be intentional to listen well, speak slowly, and pause when our friend needs a break. As the person in the passenger seat, we can find the courage to say words we couldn’t imagine spilling out of our mouths face to face.

Yet that side-by-side posture isn’t just the practical, physical manifestation of the way we feel comfortable communicating with those we love—it’s also an indication of the way we should approach friendship. In friendship, we choose to come alongside our friends, sharing the joys and hardships of life. Side by side isn’t a posture of supplication or confrontation; it’s the decision to turn shoulder to shoulder with someone, united in the pursuit of common goals. As friends, let’s resolve to face the ups and downs of life side by side, listening and loving well.

— Kristin

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

Spend some time side by side with someone, whether it’s a friend or Jesus.