The One-upper

The One-Upper

If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am.

She’s what we like to call a one-upper. “Your garage is almost as big as mine,” she told Elise one day. “We travel a lot for BMX competitions. I’ve been on so many airplanes!” she said a little later on. Listening to their conversations, I hear my daughter trying to find things they have in common, but eventually she gives up. There’s just no topping a perpetual one-upper.

With adults, bragging is often less overt, but it still happens—especially on social media. We share about our perfect homes or fun events, tropical vacations or glamorous selfies—all in an effort to showcase our lives in the best light. Like my daughter’s one-upping friend, who is generally a pleasant child, it’s never meant to be malicious. But to those who are watching, it can become glaringly obvious who has the most or the best, and who doesn’t.

I can rejoice in others’ good fortune, yet the stories I appreciate most are from friends who balance their ups with a behind-the-scenes look at their downs as well—the friends who talk about how they’ve had a hard time adjusting to being a new parent or are trying to make healthy food choices or are struggling to overcome mental health challenges. On days when I feel worried or sad, that level of authenticity helps me remember I’m not alone.

It takes great courage to admit our weaknesses. But as Christians, we know that it’s in the challenges of life that we can most often marvel at the faithfulness of God. Paul even reminds us to boast in our weaknesses rather than trying to mask the challenges we’re facing. When I look back through old Bible studies lined up on the bookshelves in my office and see the prayer requests jotted in the margins, I am encouraged by how God was ultimately faithful even in circumstances that felt impossible.

Our willingness to admit our vulnerabilities to our friends can affirm who we truly are in a way that one-upping never will. It’s when we can honestly say, “There’s no way I could have done this on my own” that we demonstrate the greatness of God and his ability to use us regardless of our shortcomings. And while tropical vacations are objectively beautiful, weaknesses affirm our authenticity and inner beauty—and that will always be something to boast about.

— Kristin

— Today’s Act of Friendship —

“Boast” to a friend about a weakness you possess.