Changing Your Focus

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Philippians 4:8

THE ARGUMENT WASN’T GOING ANYWHERE. If anything, emotions seemed to be getting hotter, instead of simmering down. Why can’t she see how hard I’m trying to make this work? Michael thought. Is she trying to be difficult?

In order to avoid saying things that couldn’t be taken back, Michael asked for a cooling-off period with his wife. He went into his office, turned on his computer, and opened a document. Then he started reading: “She laughs at my jokes. She loves our kids. She’s a beautiful singer. She loves God.” He kept reading and reading. As Michael pored over this list of truths that he’d written about his wife, the argument seemed less important and more easily resolved.

What changed for Michael? He and his wife were still fighting. But instead of thinking negative thoughts about her, Michael chose to dwell on her good traits. In Philippians 4:8, Paul tells us to focus our thoughts on whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable.

In the midst of an argument, it’s easy to do the exact opposite. Instead of thinking the best about our wives, we think the worst. If you haven’t made a list of the things you love about your wife, take the time in the next few days to start one. In difficult times, it can help remind you of the truth.

BOTTOM LINE

Even during an argument, look for the positives in your wife. Dwell on the fact that she’s God’s gift to you.

Moment of Strength: Ephesians 4:31-32