The Art Of Listening Well

Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.

Proverbs 18:13

IT SEEMS THAT LISTENING should be easy, but it’s not. Listening means we have to be quiet, and this is often the difficult part. We may prefer talking over listening because it gives us the illusion of control. We can even control the silences between words by choosing when to talk. Silence can cause our anxiety to increase, so we talk—even when we have nothing to say. Good listeners are relatively rare.

It is a tremendous experience to have someone really listen to us—to have someone’s complete and undivided attention. When someone listens to us, it communicates at a very deep level that we have value and that we are worthy. Over time, being listened to can begin to convince us that we are worth someone’s attention and that we are worth being loved. Being listened to breaks into our isolation and loneliness.

To be good listeners, we must be secure in who we are. Worrying about how we are being received by another individual or thinking about what we will say next while someone else is talking sends the message that what we have to say is more important than what anyone else has to say.

When was the last time you really listened to a friend? What about the last time you felt that someone really listened to you? What was the experience like?

BOTTOM LINE

Listening is difficult work, but it’s worth the investment. It’s something we can improve on with intentionality and God’s help.

Moment of Strength: Proverbs 1:5