The Reality Of Marriage

For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a mature man who is also able to control his whole body.

James 3:2, HCSB

NOBODY’S PERFECT, RIGHT? How often have you said that? You don’t have to be a seminary professor to understand that every human being is a sinner. But the problem, when it comes to our relationships, is that we often expect others to live perfectly while expecting grace for our own failures. This is why so many marriages, even Christian marriages, struggle to develop a growing intimacy.

James, pastor of the church at Jerusalem, says, “We all stumble in many ways.” The apostle Paul personalized this truth by declaring himself to be the chief of sinners (1 Timothy 1:15). Both men understood the need for honesty about their own faults and failings. For a husband, this can be a powerful principle. It enables him to stop seeing his wife as the chief problem in their marriage. He is angered first by his own sins, not hers. He weeps first over his own failings, not hers. He is also able to apply forgiveness and grace toward the sins of his wife, rather than hold a grudge.

We redeem the reality of marriage when we stop looking for something in our wives that we can find only in Christ. Only God is worthy of worship, and only God can give ultimate satisfaction. This allows a man to see his wife as who she really is: an heir of the grace of life and a gift to him. In the gospel, he finds the grace to forgive and be forgiven.

BOTTOM LINE

Biblical expectations are the foundation of a God-honoring marriage. Are you expecting too much from another imperfect person?

Moment of Strength: 1 Peter 3:7