Be My Who?

Be My Who?

Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with all his wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned.

Song of Songs 8:7

His name was Valentine, and he lived in Rome during the third century. At that time Rome was ruled by an emperor named Claudius. Valentine didn’t like Claudius. Few did. Claudius, you see, wanted to have a big army and he expected men to volunteer to join. But as is the case today, many men did not want to fight in wars because they did not want to leave their wives and families.

Claudius, who became furious when the men of Rome did not sign up for his army, reasoned that if men were not married, they would not mind joining the army. So the emperor decided not to allow any more marriages. Young people thought his new law was cruel, but Valentine thought it was preposterous. As a priest, he wasn’t about to support a law forbidding one of his priestly duties: performing marriages.

Even after the marriage ban was passed, Valentine kept performing marriage ceremonies—in secret. No wedding bells tolled those weddings, and no guests celebrated them either. Just the bride and groom and the priest would be present, and the ceremony would be conducted under utmost secrecy. But during one ceremony, Valentine was discovered. He was able to give the newly married couple time to escape, but he was thrown in jail and sentenced to death. As the story goes, he remained cheerful. Young people came to see him in jail, throwing flowers and notes up to his window. They wanted him to know that they, too, believed in love.

One of these young people was the daughter of a prison guard. Her father allowed her to visit Valentine. They struck up a serious friendship, talking for hours. On the day Valentine was to die, he left his friend a little note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. He signed it, “Love from your Valentine.”

That note, written on the day he died—February 14, AD 269—started a custom of exchanging love messages that continues to this day. It is because of Valentine the priest that every year on this day people think about love. And when they think of Emperor Claudius, if they think of him, they remember how he tried to stand in the way of love, and they laugh—because they know that love cannot be stopped.

Oh, if it be to choose and call thee mine, love, thou art every day my Valentine!

—Thomas Hood