A Matter Of Manners

Remind them . . . to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.

A new friend invited Elaine for a sleepover at her house, and Elaine couldn’t wait. As the day approached, she packed her bag, her mind running through a list of all the fun activities she and her friend Amelia might do together.

The overnight came and went, and Elaine had just as much fun as she had expected. But at school the following Monday, she found out that the evening hadn’t gone as well as she thought.

“My mom said you can’t come over again,” Amelia said, shuffling her feet awkwardly. “She said that ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ weren’t part of your vocabulary.”

Elaine was embarrassed and ashamed. While she had thought about the sleepover and the activities she and her friend would engage in, she had never even considered the impression she was making on others in the home. Even though she felt thankful inside for the fun things she’d gotten to do that weekend, her seeming lack of gratitude had reflected poorly on her. Unfortunately, she was never invited over to Amelia’s house again.

While Elaine knew that expressing courteous words are important, she learned the hard way just how much courtesy and manners—or the lack of them—can impact friendships. Ever since that day, she made it a practice to always respond graciously and with gratitude in all of her relationships, including in her friendships with others.

The words we say—or don’t say—matter. As Christians and as friends, we should always try our best to be kind and courteous toward others. When we forget to thank someone for a job well done or overlook someone’s contribution to a group project or event, hurt feelings can result. When we choose to gossip or use our words as weapons to hurt someone, that can lead to the death of a friendship. But if we choose to use our words to encourage others or express gratitude, we can bolster relationships and strengthen friendships. After all, our words reveal our hearts. Let’s choose to use them to do good.

Things to Think About

• In what ways do you think the words we speak reflect our character to those around us?
• Have you ever said (or forgotten to say) something to a friend that you later regretted? How might you change your response going forward?

DAILY ACT OF FRIENDSHIP

When you’re sitting with your friends at lunch or with your family at dinner, share one thing you appreciate about each person.