What Can We Do To Cultivate Happiness?

What can we do to cultivate happiness?

Let me hear the sounds of joy and gladness; and though you have crushed me and broken me, I will be happy once again.

Psalm 51:8, GNT

Do you want a happy heart when you are old? Then get with the Lord and stay with Him. That is how it works.

SHELTON SMITH

STELLA’S FIRST CHRISTMAS as a widow brought incredible loneliness. One day her doorbell rang and she was greeted by a messenger holding a box.

“What’s in the box?” she asked.

The messenger opened the flap to reveal a Labrador retriever puppy. “For you, ma’am.”

Puzzled, Stella asked, “But . . . who sent the puppy?”

Turning to leave, he said, “Your husband. Merry Christmas.”

She opened the letter from her husband, full of love and encouragement. He’d purchased the puppy shortly before he died and requested that it be delivered to his wife for Christmas.

As Stella wiped away tears, she picked up the eager puppy, which licked her face while “Joy to the World” played on her radio. Suddenly, she felt incredible delight.^a

This dying man’s thoughtful choice brought present happiness for him, future happiness for her, and happiness to all who hear their story.

Happiness can be natural but not inevitable. It comes naturally when the stage is set for it, by inviting over a good friend, attending an upbeat concert, fixing a nice dinner, joining a small group, or reading the right book. Our actions should be in concert with our prayers—we should pray to find happiness in God and then take the kind of actions that will help us find happiness in him.

Some say, “I thought I would experience joy in the Christian life, but I never have.” Is that because we spend hours a day on social media but “don’t have time” to join a home Bible study? Do we schedule lunches and tennis matches but not regular times with God? Why do we expect to be happy in God when we’re not choosing to do what we can to learn, study, and discuss who God is, what he has done, what he’s doing, and what he has promised us?

Research psychologist Martin Seligman says pessimism and depression result from our thought habits. Pessimists believe that bad events will last a long time and will undermine everything they do. Optimists believe that defeat is just a temporary setback and that its causes are confined to this one circumstance. Confronted by a bad situation, optimists perceive it as a challenge, then try harder to deal with it.^b

Seligman claims that we can change from pessimistic thinking to optimistic thinking. One of the most significant findings in psychology in the past twenty years is that individuals can choose the way they think. This corresponds with Scripture, which tells us we are to “be transformed by the renewing of [our] minds” (Romans 12:2, CEB), and that we should think about things that are good and praiseworthy (see Philippians 4:8).

The Christian life is supernatural but not enchanted. God doesn’t magically make us happy despite the fact that we make work, sports, leisure, or sex into our idols. If we choose to seek happiness elsewhere, God won’t force himself on us. And he certainly won’t give us happiness in what distances us from him.

Happiness comes naturally in the same sense that fruit comes naturally from a tree. If the tree gets sufficient sunshine and water, if the ground is rich in nutrients, if the tree doesn’t contract diseases, then yes, it “naturally” produces fruit. We must plant ourselves in the rich soil of God’s Word, soak in the living water of God and his people, and bask in the radiant sunlight of his grace. We must take the steps to help and serve others, loving not only God but also our neighbors. Only then, as we change our minds and actions, will newfound happiness come “naturally.”

Comparison is deadly. Believing that other people are happier than we are is unproductive and unrealistic. We don’t know their struggles, private pains, and secrets. Dennis Prager speaks of those caught in the comparison trap: “They suffer from what can be called compound unhappiness—just as compound interest is interest on interest, compound unhappiness is unhappiness over being unhappy.”^c

If we comparison shop between sin and Jesus, the difference is obvious. One brings you misery; the other, happiness. Why settle for the sin that kills when you can find the happiness in Christ that gives life?

Heavenly Father, help us choose to do and to think things that lead to happiness in you. Help us cultivate happiness by making good choices about what goes into our eyes and ears and what comes out of our mouths. Thank you for the example you’ve set for us and for all the wisdom you’ve put at our fingertips.